{Missed Part 1? Check it out here!}
Last Fall I made the decision to stop working full time with the main purpose of setting aside more time to invest in music, writing, and to work on a book idea that has been mulling around in my mind and heart for the last few years. It was a big decision, but my husband and I agreed that it was the right move for our family. My job at that time was working with women who were recovering from addiction and building new and beautiful lives. It was rewarding but it was hard. I was confronted with my own “stuff” everyday as we worked through their stories and after 40 hours a week of pouring out into the lives of these amazing women I worked with, I didn’t feel like I had any reserves left to give to being creative. So I figured that in order to steward this dream in my heart, I needed more time to give to it. And after being offered a part-time position with a psychologist friend of mine, I decided it was the perfect win-win situation to increase my creativity.
More time? Check.
Now that I had the time to write, I realized that I didn’t have a space set up for me to actually begin writing, and so I went to work on my office. And then I realized that the rest of my house could use some TLC and I convinced myself that once I had a clean environment, then I would be able to sit down to write.
Now, when I get into a project, I really get into it. So, once I started on the kitchen, (a task that takes a normal person 10 minutes) I realized that I could be in here for hours, if not a couple days. Because once you notice dust in the kitchen cupboards, you can’t NOT take all of the dishes out and dust and wash all the cupboards, right?
So after multiple days of purging, organizing, and decorating, my house was clean and my office space was set up and ready to be inhabited with creativity.
Clean space to write? Check
Except now that I just started my new part-time job, I needed to focus on building those skills before I started anything new with writing.
And then we found out that we were expecting a baby.
And I was more tired than I have ever been in my life.
And the house needed painting.
And the nursery needed decorating.
… and I desperately needed to sleep.
And that dream of writing and music? Well it sat on the back of my heart and mind. Still just a dream.
Lets be real. It is never going to be the right time to pursue the dreams that are on our hearts. There will always be something else. There will never be enough time. Circumstances are never going to be ideal. The next season we enter into will be the time. Just. not. now.
Sweet friends, now is the only time we have got.
I understand that there really are different seasons that we go through in our lives and our focus might need to change depending on where we are at. Believe me – I do get that. But I have a hunch that even when given the ideal situation (enough time, resources, space etc.) that we can still push our dreams to the side and fill that season with something else.
I am reminded of the parable of the Talents that Jesus tells his disciples in Matthew 25. It is a story of a man who entrusts his property to his servants when he goes on a journey. To one servant he gives 5 talents, to another he gives 2, and to another 1, each according to his own ability. The first two servants steward the talents well and multiply what was given to them, while the third servant, full of fear, buries his talent in the ground. When their master came home from his journey he asked his servants to give account for the talents he gave them. He was pleased with the first two servants and because they were faithful with little, he made them responsible over much and they were filled with joy. However, with the third servant who only hid the talent given to him out of fear, what he had was taken from him and given to the others and he was filled with regret and could not enter into the joy of his master.
As I read this, my heart trembles slightly within my chest.
I believe that dreams that are rooted deeply within our hearts are God-Given.
Just like in the parable, I think that God gives to each one according to his ability.
We are all given passions, abilities, skill-set, and dreams.
Yet so often, like the third servant, because we are afraid – we take what we are given and we bury it in the ground. We play it safe and don’t step out.
We deep clean our kitchens instead.
And don’t get me wrong. Everyone loves a clean kitchen.
But cleaning the kitchen isn’t the “talent” that God has entrusted to us. It is a good and noble thing to do, but we often neglect the very thing God has placed in our hand for shiny countertops.
What is the “talent” that God has entrusted into your care?
What are you doing with it?
Sometimes the doors that we need to kick down aren’t external circumstances.
Sometimes those doors are within ourselves.
And often those doors have the word FEAR scribbled all over it.
Fear can take a lot of different forms: procrastination, excessive busyness, laziness, self sabotage, over spiritualizing circumstances, false humility, pride, over responsibility, etc.
But whatever our particular door looks like, the end result is the same. The talent we are given gets buried and we live with regret and lose out on the joy of being who we were made to be and delighting in the pleasure that God has in helping us work out the dream that He has entrusted to us.
So – how do we knock down these doors within us?
1. We identify what doors are in our way
2. WE just START {I know its easier said than done, but seriously. Just Start.}
If you dream of writing – sit down and write something.
If you dream of having a home that others feel safe and loved in – pick up the phone and invite someone over.
If you dream of going back to school – print off an application form.
If you dream of taking photos – find a photographer to second shoot with.
Whatever the dream is, don’t think about needing to get from point A to Z in one big leap. Just take the FIRST step.
3. We involve others on the journey.
In the parable, THREE servants were given “talents” to steward. They weren’t expected to do it alone. Neither are you. Talk with others about your dream. Brainstorm together!
4. We talk with God about the dream that is on our hearts.
Ask Him forgiveness for agreeing to fear and burying your dream.
I love that our God doesn’t waste anything. He redeems time. He renews our hearts. He heals regret. Ask Him to empower you to start stewarding your dream well. There is a LOT of joy for you as journey along with Him in the process.
Let’s take little steps together okay?
